Growing in Truth

Well… not exactly.   Today at the shelter, a gentleman asked to film me about my experiences volunteering here at Haven for Hope.  While I bumbled through it (I’m guessing they might just use “Hi, my name is Daniel”), I realized I’ve never put into words my initial impressions of working here.  So here’s a rough stab at that…

I moved to San Antonio a little over a year ago, and last summer I felt God telling me that the reason I was here was to minister to the city, especially to the poor and those who didn’t have the power to lift themselves up.

Seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper. Jeremiah 29:7

I volunteered at a number of different organizations:  the VA hospital, Habitat for Humanity, and Meals on Wheels.  While each of these organizations offer something valuable for the city, they didn’t seem to be a good match for what I consider to be my mission.  I’ve had a passion for the homeless for the past 10 years which started when I began working at Scottie’s Place, a wilderness adventure camp for homeless children located in West Virginia.  When I came to Haven For Hope, I realized that the mission and purpose of this organization closely mirrors my own desires and goals.

My first job was working in the Food Bank (serving hot meals to each of the residents).  This job was great because I had the opportunity to get to know several of the members really well, and over the course of a few weeks I was able to see them transform via the Culinary Skills class from someone who could barely make toast into a kitchen leader that now has the skills to obtain a great job in the food service industry.

From there, I became connected to Spiritual Services and the soulFRIEND program.  I’m able to walk around and chat with members about things that are going on in their lives—their current challenges and triumphs—whether they need prayer or just someone to talk to, I believe the relationship that we establish is powerful.

The thing I find most amazing about Haven for Hope is the support of the many partners who are focused on transformation; job training, life skills, housing assistance, financial well-being… the list goes on and on.   Haven is changing lives, one person at a time.

Obviously not a complete assessment, but as Mother Teresa used to say: “Come and See” for yourself!

I was first confronted with the issue of homelessness my junior year in college.  I was involved in a number of community service projects and ended up tagging along to Scottie’s Place, which is a wilderness adventure camp for homeless kids.  I suppose my eyes were blinded to their plight before, and even if I recognized it I’m sure I would have withheld my compassion because “their parents should just get jobs.”  This black-and-white approach to social justice issues continued to be broken down over the years, and one of the catalysts for that shift started with reading Mike Yankowski’s book “Under The Overpass.”  In 2005 I got this book to learn a little more about the plight of the homeless, and at the recommendation of a friend.  I remember being spellbound by the experiment–the author and his friend would set out on a 6-month journey without any money, deliberately homeless.  The premise of his story is that “Sure, I claimed that Christ was my stronghold, my peace, my sustenance, my joy.  But I did all that from the safety of my comfortable upper-middle-class life.  I never really had to put my claims to the test.”

My facination was rooted in the fact that here were two guys embarking on an adventure that I had dreamed of since I was just a kid.  I suppose it runs in my blood… my dad was a bit of a vagabond in his formative years, hopping on trains and hitchhiking to bluegrass festivals all the way across the country.  I would dream of opportunities where I could test my survival skills and relinquish responsibilities, even if just for a few months.  My time in college opened my eyes to the needs of the poor, and so then my reckless desires began to have a tint of purpose behind them.  What if I could emulate the poor and homeless in a desire to get to know them better–to feel their pain and love them the way Christ did?

After reading the book, I loaned it to a friend and never got it back…  but recently I got another copy and got to read through it again…  I believe my experience reading it this time was different because of my recent experiences with the homeless and the local shelter.  I picked up on things that I previously overlooked… I could empathize with him when he spoke of sleeping out on the concrete… I nodded my head as he joked about the smell of over a hundred wet and sweaty men packed into an overheated room… some of these things go beyond description; you have to experience it yourself in order to fully understand it.

“Under The Overpass” discusses homelessness in general, shelters, various parts of the country (Denver, Portland, D.C., San Diego, San Fransisco, and Pheonix), the well-intentioned but misguided attempts to deliver the Gospel, as well as some examples of people who truely showed Christian love and had an effective ministry.

The thing I took away from this book the second time through is the redefinition of “comfort”–Mike said “Comfort is relative, a truth that was slowly sinking in.  Days and nights in the open turn you jaded and numb.  You get hungry enough and food from the trash looks appetizing.  You get exhausted enough and the sidewalk can almost feel like a down-filled mattress.  And compared to sun-baked concrete stinking of gasoline, garbage, and urine, a tree root in the park can feel like heaven [as a pillow]…  Maybe the reason so many people, Christians included, are so discontent is that we hold too elevated an idea of comfort, too grandiose a notion of pleasure.  That sets us up to get frustrated by every passing circumstance.  We can end up focusing more on our circumstances than on the One who ordains them.  When you get to the bottom, there is immese contentment in letting go of comfort.”

While I’m not in the position to attempt what Mike did, I’m deeply grateful for his experiences and hope to use some of his insights in my own life.  Our church is still studying through David Platt’s “Radical”, and at the end of chapter 6 he boldly says that we have a choice in life: “We can stand with the starving or with the overfed.”  This doesn’t mean that every Christian has to go out and live in a cardboard box for a month, but think about what would happen if everyone DID.

I realize this review was more about me than about the book, but that’s what happens when it’s a topic so close to my heart!  Order your copy of the book here.

Disclaimer:  I received a copy of this book from the publisher solely for the purpose of this review.

In two weeks, I will be leaving for a week in Honduras as part of a mission trip through Grace Point Church.  During the week, we’ll be conducting a VBS an Sports Camp, working at a local orphanage, and some street evangelism.

Please be praying for our trip to go according to God’s plan–I sincerely hope to see lives changed (including my own!).  Some members are concerned about safety–pray that the team will claim the spirit of power promised in 2 Timothy 1:7–”For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

Last night I went camping… sort of.  I slept outside, but didn’t have the niceties of a sleeping bag, tent, or S’mores.  After helping serve dinner to the folks at Haven For Hope, I checked myself into the homeless shelter for the night.  A few things predicated this decision:

- I have heard a considerable amount about the shelter the past few months (both positive and negative).  I wanted to get the experience first-hand.  I also felt convicted yesterday while I was reading the Gospel of Matthew: “if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward” (10:42).

- I was recently challenged by a friend to take action that would allow me to empathize with the people Jesus has called us to serve vs. merely sympathizing with them.  ”What would it take for us to really know the pain of people for whom we only pity and show sympathy towards?”

- My wife would be working all night.  This was a two-fold bonus: first, my experiment wouldn’t leave her alone that night, and second, I wouldn’t have to explain myself and possibly be talked out of it until it was over!

After serving dinner, I took a tray of food out and sat down with a couple of guys who seemed willing to talk.  Raul is a down-on-his-luck truck driver who came to the shelter to ride out a couple of months without employment, but was upbeat overall.  He seemed to have genuine faith and was very appreciative of all the assistance that Haven For Hope has done to get him back on track.  I asked about some of their favorite aspects of living there as well as some of the things they’d change.  One thing I specifically remember an older veteran saying was “I hope I never have to stay out in Prospect’s [Courtyard]!“, the location where homeless men and women stay that have not gotten processed into the rehabilitation system (note that this is precisely the location that I intended to spend the night, although I kept that fact to myself).

I left the shelter around 7 PM and wandered around the “rough” section of downtown for a while because the transient portion of the complex wouldn’t open for another hour.  I was able to pray a bit as well as see a police officer dole out a bit of justice to some drunks who were knocking over trash cans.  I didn’t know to expect upon entering Prospect’s, and was surprised to see several hundred men (and ~30 women) crowded in a room that was slightly cooler than a sauna and smelled a bit like a wet dog.  This was the only television in their area, and so they eagerly watched the Steelers game while waiting for their sleeping mats.  I chatted with a few guys to find out their stories and get an understanding of the spectrum of people who would be snoozing nearby.  One gentleman informed me that it was his first night at Prospect’s as well; he was recently released from the state hospital but had been spending the past week (rainy and nearly freezing) sleeping under bridges and in the woods.

By the time I got my sleeping mat and single bed sheet, all the space indoors was taken and therefore I got to have my outdoor camping experience.  It rained nearly all day, and the misting continued through the night as I and nearly 100 other people shuffled around in preparation for a night in the cold–the concept of “quiet time” didn’t really settle in until around midnight, and even then an occasional outburst of laughing or yelling would disrupt the “silence” (a very general term, considering the shelter is located inside a fork of two railroads, the proximity to the hospital, and the all-too-regular sound of police sirens).  As time went by, the temperature began dropping and I started to wish that I brought a few more layers of clothing (to add to the 4 I was currently wearing), a blanket or sleeping bag that some of the experienced homeless had acquired over time, and possibly my Tempurpedic mattress that I was forced to leave at home…

Morning finally came, and with that came the busyness that is intrinsic with this facility.  People bustled all around the building taking care of shower/bathroom/medication/mail and breakfast.  I eventually made my way out of the courtyard and back to the streets, surrounded by several others…     while my brothers are headed for a day of panhandling, loitering, drinking, or searching for work, I’m heading back home…

I know that I learned a bit about myself last night, but it will probably take a while for it to sink in and for it all to become apparent.  I can’t help but wonder if that would be where Jesus would be forced to stay if He was to come to San Antonio.  ”What is more, I consider everything loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.  I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him” (Phil. 3:8).

“If you love what God loves then you will love the cities.
If you want to go where the people are, you got to go to the cities.
God says ‘Look at the masses of the cities.  Why aren’t you moved by them?  Why aren’t you going there?“

- Tim Keller (at Lausanne III)

Today I met Alex*, a homeless man living in the woods very near my house.  I’ve seen him wandering around a nearby intersection several times, but today I felt I should go talk to him.  It was cold and wet, and it was raining off and on all morning.  He was huddled underneath a bush with his dog while his partner panhandled at the stoplight nearby.  I greeted him and he smiled as best he could considering the weather, and despite his lack of front teeth.  I asked if I could get him something to eat from the nearby McDonalds.  He said “I’m doing OK, but if you could get something for my dog, I’d really appreciate it.”  Once I brought back several burgers, he called his partner over and we chatted while they ate.  Alex has been homeless for over 4 years now, and he has lost contact his wife due to her painkiller and cocaine addiction.  He claims to have been turned away from the local homeless shelter because they do not have room for his dog, and he is understandably not willing to part with his best friend.

Alex believes in God and knows an amazing amount of Scripture.  He reflected on a recent blessing that he knows was from above: during the recent cold snap, he cried out “Jesus, you are the Great Comforter.  You said ‘Cast your cares on me, because I care for you.”  Just minutes later, he found a comforter/blanket that someone had placed on top the dumpster, and it was practically brand new.  He said that God has always protected him in ways like that, even though he doesn’t deserve it.

One of the amazing insights he shared with me was this.  There is a saying that “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”  He claimed that while many assume that he is insane (his ragged hair, dip-stained teeth, and six layers of clothing adding fuel to that assumption), he sees people every single day driving back and forth to jobs that they hate so that they can afford an image and a standard of living that they are not even satisfied with.  “That,” Alex states, “is my view of insanity.  People think that money is going to make them happier, but Jesus said that it is the poor and the meek who will be blessed.”

Alex cried as I prayed with him, but it was my heart that was breaking for this brother who obviously has so many issues going on that prevent him from re-entering society.  I don’t know all the practical ways that Christians are supposed to help the poor and homeless, but I do know we are called to love them.  I know that Alex was put in my path for a purpose today, and I can see that God is shaping my heart for what matters to Him.

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom’s cause

–  “Hosanna” by Hillsong United

*Name changed for his confidentiality.